Managing Vistors and Boundaries as a New Parent
As a postpartum doula, one of the most crucial aspects of my role is helping new parents establish boundaries and create a supportive social circle during the delicate postpartum period. Welcoming visitors can be both exciting and overwhelming for new families, which is why setting limits and maintaining boundaries is essential for their well-being.
The first thing I encourage my clients to do is to draft a text to keep in their notes or record a voicemail message that includes all the stats of the new baby when they might be up to seeing visitors and a reminder to let the new parents have time to enjoy and adjust to their new world!
The "token method" is a strategy I often recommend to my clients as a way to balance the joy of visitors with the practical needs of the household. The concept is simple: before holding the baby, visitors are asked to earn a token by completing a chore, such as washing the dishes or folding laundry. Not only does this approach help lighten the load for new parents, but it also encourages a sense of shared responsibility and support within their social circle.
Establishing boundaries around visitors is about more than just managing household tasks; it's also about prioritizing the needs of the new family unit. I encourage all my clients to communicate openly with their loved ones about their preferences and limitations when it comes to visits. Whether it's setting specific visiting hours, limiting the number of guests at once, or requesting advance notice before dropping by, empowering parents to advocate for their own needs is crucial during this time of transition.
Creating a supportive social circle is about surrounding yourself with individuals who respect your boundaries and offer genuine support. It is important to lean on trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional encouragement, practical assistance, and non-judgmental listening ears. It’s also important to remember that it's okay to say no to visitors if you are feeling overwhelmed or exhausted and to prioritize self-care above all else.
Until Next Time!
Aiesha Draughton
Postpartum Partners NC
Aiesha is a postpartum doula located in Charlotte, North Carolina